The Personality Quiz
by Psycho BakuRyou
Summary: Ryou gets a new computer installed in his house. Bakura finds out about the computer and decides to look for "things" on it when a personality test window pops up. What will be there results.Rated for their stupidity and humor in their stupidity.


The personality quiz

One night…it was a foggy night…a quiet night…

Bakura was remembering what Ryou had told him.

Bakura...I'm brining something special tonight…it's in the kitchen…whatever you do…don't…take…the…covers…of it. You hear me?

Bakura scoffed. "Yea right I have to see what it is so I can trash it." He ran to the kitchen and he saw it. The white soft blanky that smells like Snuggles. (if you don't know it's a laundry detergent) Snug, Snugg, Snuggles so snugly and soaked and oh so comfy. For the close you can't live without. Use snuggles." Bakura said happily.

A moment of silence…

"Oh well that was really gay. No more fabric softener commercials for me." He said slapping himself. "Bad Bakura bad! Damn…I'm wasting time I can see what's under this blanket and kill it like I killed Ryou's precious Gamecube he cared for so much." He laughed evilly and looked at the blown up G amecube in the corner of the room. "And now…it's time! The unveiling!" He was about to uncover the…_dramatic music plays_ secret covers when…

Car drives by…

Horse neighs…

Donkey brays…

Record scratches

"Bakura…what are you doing near the…"surprise?"" Ryou asked coming in and turning the light on Bakura.

"I…um…I couldn't live without the blanket. You…you washed it with Snuggles." Bakura said snuggling with the blanket and trying to pull it off.

"Bakura…I used Downy. Nice try. I nailed down the blanket so you can't see." Ryou said.

Bakura started biting and ripping the blanket with his teeth. "Hahahahahahahaha! It's opened! Oh please let it be a pony." He whispered looking inside.

"It's…it's…it's…a metal box. A metal box! IT COULDN'T BE A PONY! Yet you cover a fucking metal box! What the hell Ryou! I thought you knew I liked ponies!" Bakura yelled grabbing Ryou's shirt.

"I didn't." Ryou said snickering at Bakura.

"You…bitch! You tricked me! You hid my pony somewhere else." Bakura said narrowing his eyes.

"Bakura…it's a computer. You can look at all the pony porn you want." Ryou said.

"Pony porn! How hot." Bakura said laughing.

"O…k…?" Ryou said backing away from Bakura.

"Well tell me how to work this…"computer" which allows me to see pony porn or it will meet the same fate as your Gamecube!" Bakura ordered laughing evilly.

"Ok! Ok! Just…just don't touch my baby!" Ryou said petting his computer. He pressed the buttons to turn it on.

"Now we're talking. Now…to find pony porn. W.W.W. All Your Pony Porn. Com." He said typing it in 1.5 milliseconds.

Ryou started laughing.

"CAN'T FIND SERVER! THIS THING IS MESSED UP! MAKE IT WORK OR IT'S DEAD!" Bakura yelled pointing at the Gamecube.

Ryou cried and typed something in.

"Take…a…per-per-per…

"Come on Bakura…sound it out. Remember the hooked on phonics." Ryou said.

Bakura screamed and rocked in his chair sucking his thumb. "No more hooked on phonics. No more hooked on phonics. No more hooked on phonics. No more leap frog. No more. No more!" He cried.

"Alright read that then or I'm taking it out." Ryou said threateningly.

"Per-per-per-personality!" Bakura screamed when Ryou smacked his back. "Test." He finished.

"Ooh I love those!" Ryou said booting Bakura off the computer chair.

"But…but my pony porn." Bakura said sitting on his knees looking at the computer and sniffing the table.

Just then _gasp_ Marik came in through the door.

"Hey…it's dodo." Bakura said.

"Shut the fuck up." Marik said. "Hi Ryou" He said smiling. "Bakura." He snarled.

"Hiya Marik…wanna take this—

"Hiya. Hiya! Who the fuck says hiya Ryou! You fucking country hillbilly." Bakura said.

"Wanna take this personality test? After I'm done of course." Ryou asked.

"Sure bob." Marik said sitting on the floor next to him.

"I believe his name is Ryou…Marik!" Bakura said snarling.

"Bob for short." Marik snarled back.

They both snarled and started fighting.

"What is your type of girl? Hmm." Ryou read ignoring the dog fight Marik and Bakura were having.

A few minutes later Ryou was done and Bakura and Marik were still fighting...this time…like lions.

"Roar!" Bakura roared.

"Meow." Marik meowed clawing at Bakura like a little kitty.

"I'm done! I'm getting my results." Ryou said getting all jittery and excited.

Marik hummed dramatic music and when the results page was up he climbed all over Ryou. "What did you get! What did you get!" He asked annoyingly.

"I'm…wild." Ryou read.

"No way! Liar!" Bakura said shocked getting Ryou out of the way. "You! Wild! You that "Oh my god I broke my nail. Let me get that napkin for you. Oh I'm sorry did I hurt you. I'm so pathetically weak and I'd be nothing without my yami." Wild! That is rigged." Bakura said folding his arms.

"Shut up Pony porn looker!" Ryou screamed.

Bakura froze and heard Marik laugh like an idiot.

"You look at pony porn too! No way. We were meant to hang out. Up top…brother." Marik said raising his hand for a high five.

Bakura laughed like an idiot as well when Marik said they were brothers and said "No." When Marik wanted a high five.

"Why are you such a bitch? You always do that to me!" Marik yelled snarling.

"Well you have cooties!" Bakura snarled back.

They fought like lions again.

"I'm taking the test again to prove I can be wild." Ryou said taking the test again.

They continued to fight as Ryou took the test.

"Done!" Ryou shouted.

Bakura stopped eating Marik's head and spit him out.

"Haha! Wild baby." Ryou said folding his arms.

"Lemme take the test lemme take the test!" Marik said quickly.

Half an hour later.

"Marik…you haven't done anything." Ryou said.

"I'm just having a hard time… what does that say?" He asked pointing to a word.

"I." Ryou said.

"Oh." Marik said stupidly.

Half an hour later

"Done!" Marik said as he watched Bakura pick his hair out of his teeth.

"Sm-smart." He read. "I'm smart!" He shouted happily hugging everything. He hugged himself. He hugged Ryou. He hugged the toilet. He hugged the table. He went to hug Bakura.

"No bitch back away." Bakura said sticking his hands out.

"Wow…that's kinda shocking." Ryou said looking at Marik's results.

"Why…you don't think…I'm smart?" Marik asked making his eyes big, biting his lip and getting teary eyed.

"Yes." Ryou lied.

"No." Bakura said not hesitating.

"I knew I was smartest!" Marik said smiling.

"Lemme take it now. I know what I'm gonna get, Wild or evil for sure." Bakura said taking the test.

"Doo doo doo doo. Hey Marik you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind hey Marik. Hey Marik. ch-ch-check check it out what's what's gonna come pop out." Marik sang. He cleared his throat.

"I wanna be horsy. I've always wanted to know what it would be like to be a horsy." Ryou said out of the blue.

"Me? I've always wanted to be a rubber duck. I mean…how do they float? And squeaking don't even ask me. I wanna know so bad. So I wanna be a rubber duckie." Marik said proudly.

Bakura gasped loudly and dropped a glass cup on purpose for dramatic effect.

"What?" Ryou asked looking at his results.

Ryou and Marik started laughing at Bakura's results.

"Shut up! It's not funny! It's rigged I tell you rigged!" Bakura yelled shaking the computer.

"Bakura…it's ok…it doesn't matter if your results say…innocent!" Ryou said laughing.

"I'm not innocent! I'm anything but innocent!" Bakura yelled. "I'm supposed to be wild! Wild I tell you wild! I was on girls gone wild! I was also on Wild boys!" Bakura shouted crying.

"Aww its ok Bakura. I'm innocent too." Ryou said smiling and messing up Bakura's hair.

"No! You're…you're—sniffs—wild!" He cried hysterically.

"I know isn't it awesome!" Ryou said high fiving Marik.

We interrupt this story to inform you Marik got his first high five.

Recording on E true Hollywood story.

"Marik…is it true you got your first high five today?" The dude asked

"Why yes. Yes it was." Marik said coolly.

"Tell me…how did it feel so that viewers out there can experience it?" The dude asked.

"It…it was magical!" He said with little stars flying out of the sky miraculously. "It was the most…beautiful thing in my life…that and watching Ishizu get born." He added.

"It seems we have a call…from someone named…Bakura." The dude said.

"Marik…you're a fucking retard. Everyone in this world has gotten high fived. You just have cooties. And you're younger than Ishizu how the flying fuck can you witness her birth!" Bakura asked.

"Cut him off the line I don't know him." Marik said.

"Marik when I see you I'm gonna—click

Back to the "real" story

"Don't worry Baku…I'm sure we're the only one that's taken this test. No one will ever know." Ryou said.

But little did he know…actually he didn't know anything.

Wind howls…

At school…

"Hey Bakura." Yugi said suppressing his laughter.

"What do you want you fuck head?" Bakura asked angrily.

"H-hi." He said again.

"Fuck off." Bakura said.

"Hey Ryou." A pretty girl said.

"Hi." Ryou said walking up to her.

"Kiss me Ryou!" The girl said.

Bakura gasped.

Car crashes…

Glass breaks…

Horn honks…

"Ryou! You wild thing!" the girl screamed.

"Everyone take your seat we're doing math now." The teacher said. _Who looks stupid…who looks stupid? Hmmm?_ "Marik." She called.

Marik stopped picking his nose and wiped his boogers on Bakura. "Yea." Marik said.

"You fucker!" Bakura said looking at his shirt.

"Solve this equation." She ordered.

"The blah blah blah circumference…blah blah blah diameter…blady blah 12.22.3.4.5.6.666 blah blah fraction…yadda yadda ratio percent…caca caca caca caca Chocolate volcano…giant donut…equals…1.23456425674227!" Marik said sitting down.

"That's wrong. For sure." Bakura whispered to himself smirking.

"That's…absolutely…RIGHT!" The teacher said rewarding Marik with a Charmin' napkin for his nose, an A and a Pony Porn book.

"Cha Cha Cha! Char-min." Marik sang.

"Shit heads! That's not right! When the fuck does giant donuts and chocolate volcanoes ever have to do with math!" Bakura asked standing up and slamming his hands on his desk.

"Teacher I'm going to the bathroom…some girls waiting for me." Ryou said walking out.

Marik put on some glasses with thick lenses and his eyes looked like they were being reflected off magnifying glasses. "Bakura…how do I look?" He asked.

Bakura started twitching madly and had this sudden urge to tell him he looked like a fucking koala but instead…"Oh Marik you look perfectly smart." He said innocently cupping his hands.

"Why thank you Bakura." He said smiling at him.

"Marik…I…I wanted to give you something." Bakura said nervously.

"Yes…what is it?" Marik asked dramatically.

Bakura raised his hand.

Marik gasped. "Are you sure? This isn't a trick right? I…I can?" He asked biting his lip and making his eyes big,

Bakura nodded slowly and smiled at him.

Marik inched his hand towards Bakura's and…high fived it. Thus…the beginning of a new friendship. _Dramatic music plays_

"I touched it. I…Marik…touched Bakura's hand…in a high five." Marik said gasping.

"I'm not dieing and combusting into flames. I…I don't have the cooties. Marik was free of cooties the whole time." Bakura said.

"Well…duh I took my cootie shots in the 3rd grade. Hurt like a bitch when they stuck the stick up my ass but it was worth it." Marik said.

Ryou came back from the bathroom and sat around all the girls.

"Joey…can I borrow a pencil?" Marik asked.

"Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!" Joey barked scratching his head with his foot.

(For those who don't know…Joey was always teased about being a dog…so he's a dog)

Joey grabbed the pencil with his teeth and showed it to Marik.

"Thank you." Marik said trying to get the pencil out of Joey's mouth. "Give it here." He screamed, as Joey growled not wanting to give up the pencil.

"Now Joey, it's not nice to offer something and then not give it up you either give him the pencil or get splinters in your mouth you choose." Bakura said.

Joey whimpered and gave Marik the pencil.

"That's the spirit Joey." Bakur said giggling.

"Class is dismissed go to recesses." The teacher said slamming the door behind them and laughing manically.

"Hey Bakura. Marik. Ryou." Yami Yugi said.

"Why hello Yami Yugi. How are you? My you're looking snazzy in all that leather today." Bakura said politely.

"I don't know what you heard about me…but this bitch can't get a dollar outta me…no Cadillac's no perms you can't see because I'm a motherfucking P.I.M.P" Ryou sang.

"Hey Yugi…I wanted to know if you could maybe duel me. I just found out I really suck at it unless I threaten you with the shadow realm…can you help me?" Bakura asked.

"No. I suck at dueling. I can't duel for shit. Leave me alone. Marik you look weird with those glasses on take a shit." Yami Yugi said walking away.

"I can be the next skyscraper I'm so tall man!" Yugi said running by them.

"Yugi have you grown?" Bakura asked nicely.

"Yea! I'm 6 feet! I dunno it all happened when I took this personality test. I feel so good. I can look down on people." Yugi said looking up at everyone. (He's still short guys the test just made him think he was tall)

"I'm glad to hear that Yugi. You wanna be my best friend Yugi? I know we started off bad and all…but I see us going all the back to high school." Bakura said.

"We're already in high school." Marik said.

"Oh yea that's right Marik. I'm so stupid. Why are you so smart Marik?" Bakura asked cupping his hands again.

"My Yami's a retard. Let's go Roxy." Ryou said taking his "girlfriend" away from them. "She's a porn star." Ryou whispered to them.

"Don't do anything to bad Ryou. Remember STD's." Bakura said.

"Fuck off Yami." Ryou said flipping him off and walking away.

"Hey guys." Tea said.

"Hello Tea. My, your skirt is short today. Are you hanging out with Mai?" Bakura asked politely.

"Shut the fuck up bitch! You asshole! Why the fuck are you talking to me! I hate you bitch! Go die or something! Bitch!" Tea screamed.

"Hey Tea I grew." Yugi said still looking up at her.

"No you didn't bitch. You're still a midget. I hate you. I never liked you. I hate friendship. I'm a loner now. I hate every one of my friends. I don't need them. They're gay just like all you bitches. Bye losers!" She said making an L with her finger and walking away.

"That wasn't very nice." Bakura said cocking an eyebrow.

"I did my home…work…today." Marik said slowing watching Joey walk on all fours and barking after someone who stole his pencil.

"Yugi…I took your advice…it worked." Kaiba said.

"Oh? And that was?" Yugi asked tippy toeing.

"The…heart of the cards. They came through for me. I never doubted you for a second. Every time you would rant about them…I believed in you. I secretly did heart of the cards every time I dueled. Thank you Yugi." Kaiba said sitting near a wall and begging for money.

"Weren't you rich?" Marik asked pulling up his glasses.

"It's the funniest story! My house got burned!" Kaiba said laughing hysterically.

"Penny. Penny over here. Quarter maybe. Come on help a poor guy out. Come on a dollar. Don't make me start dancing." Kaiba said begging.

Bakura tossed all his lunch money in the cup and gave him his shoe. "There you can sell my shoe for something better and that something better you can sell it for something _much_ better and that something _much_ better you can sell it for something _extremely_ better and that something extremely better you can sell it for…

"Shut the hell up." Ryou said coming back with Roxy.

"Ryou your girlfriends really pretty." Bakura said smiling at her.

"Girlfriend? You mean was my girlfriend. See you bitch. Hello-o-o Roxanne." Ryou said tossing Roxy out and hugging another girl. "Ooh free money." He said picking cash out of Kaiba's begging cup. "And a shoe? It's my lucky day. I can sell this shoe for something better and that something better and I can sell it for something _much_ and that something much better I can sell it for something _extremely_ better and that something extremely better I can sell it for something…whoo check out that fine girl over there!" He said. "Bye Roxanne." He said making out with her and tossing her away.

"Ryou's like a whore…in guy version." Bakura said. He slapped himself. "That was so rude of me. Bad Bakura. Don't be mean." He scolded himself.

"So then he's a man whore." Marik said.

"My eyes aren't big. They're really small." Yugi said squinting.

"Duel me Yugi please!" Bakura begged getting on his knees ignoring Yugi's eye comment.

"Fine." Yugi said.

"It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!" Bakura said giggling.

"Yo! I cross the line there! I'm the stutterer!" Yugi screamed.

"Sorry." Bakura apologized.

"I'll see you…after school. To duel you."Yugi said tippy toeing away.

"I'm so excited I'm going to duel Yugi! I'm going to be a good duelist now! I'm going to get a deck full of Yugi cards and throw mine away. But wait! I can't throw them away. The poor trees. I'll just stash them somewhere." Bakura said.

After school…

"Ok let's duel!" Yugi screamed still tippy toeing.

The duel started…

"I wanna put this really cool card down…but what if it doesn't come through for me?" Bakura said to himself rubbing his chin.

"Heart of the cards." Yugi hissed.

"Oh right." Bakura said taking his advice. _Heart of the cards…guide me_ He picked up a card. "Are you shitting me! This is a stupid lousy trap card that sucks ass! Heart of the cards my ass! He said throwing the cards on the floor and walking away from the duel.

"But Bakura! Give the heart of the cards a chance!" Yugi screamed.

"Shut the fuck up! Shut up! Heart of the cards my big fucking ass! They suck. They didn't fucking work for me you fucking midget who's fucking annoying and a fucking fucker! Fuck! I'm pissed it's all your fault! I hate you! Die in hell fucker!" Bakura yelled flipping Yugi off.

"I'm…short!" Yugi cried.

"It's ok Yugi. As long as you believe in me and the heart of the cards you won't be pathetically sucky and stupid and…you have me to be short with. After all…I'm only an inch taller than you." Yami Yugi said consolingly.

"And you can't forget me Yugi. As long as you remember the true meaning of friendship, friends, friends and friends…life will be as easy as friends." Tea said. She started going into singsong.

"So no one told you life was gonna be this way—claps her hands—your jobs a joke you're broke your love life's D.O.A…

It's like you're always stuck in second gear…but when it hasn't been your day your week

or month

or ever your year

but I'll be there for you when the rain starts to fall

I'll be there for you because like I've been there before

I'll be there for you because you're there for me to-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!" She sang.

Yugi inhaled and started crying. "I love you Tea!" He said hugging her.

"Too bad I love your Yami. I don't like you I only liked you so I can see your Yami pop out. But you're still my friend always and forever. Best friends for life. Best friends forever!" Tea said.

"Tea I've always loved your friendship rants." Joey said acting non-doggy like.

"Yugi I hate you. I'm rich again…it looks like the government decided to give me my money back because…they said Yu-gi-oh wouldn't be a good show if I didn't hate you our I was a little rich bitch." Kaiba said.

"That's nice Kai—

"Save it. I hate you now." Kaiba said walking away.

Yugi started crying.

Back in school…

I'm ready to impress everyone with my smarts again. Here I go Marik. Breathe. Deep breaths remember…pie when you get home…pie when you get home. Mmmm pie! I got my lucky glasses on, lucky pencil, lucky rock…lucky tube sock…lucky hair braider. Good. I'm feeling lucky.

"Marik what's 2 + 2 equal?" The teacher asked.

"Pie!" Marik screamed.

"Wrong!" The teacher yelled.

Marik started crying and threw all his lucky things on the floor. "You're not lucky you're worthless!" He screamed grabbing a water bottle.

"That's my water!" Ryou screamed.

Marik crushed the bottle on his head and got splattered with water. "Ahh! Ahh! My eyes! I can't see! It's like acid going onto my eyes! Ahh! My skin! It's drying! I've never had a bath! This hurts! This is exactly why I never bathe! Ahh! My eyes someone help me!" He screamed crying.

"Marik…it's water…your tears are water. Your eyes let out water." Ryou said.

Marik stopped crying and licked his tears. "Amazing. I never knew that." Marik said.

"I should have never high fived you. I'm so ashamed." Ryou said sighing.

"Hey Ryou wanna go to the bathroom?" A girl asked.

"Do I know you?" Ryou asked.

"Yea you made out with me 3 seconds ago." She said.

"Oh I'm sorry no I don't want to go to the bathroom and I don't think we should see each other anymore I to be honest with you haven't got the time to be in a relationship maybe another day." Ryou said walking away.

The girl killed herself.

Bakura started laughing at the girl. "I'm evil again I'm evil again I'm evil again!" He said happily.

"No one cares! I'm stupid again!" Marik cried.

"You'll be ok Marik…you'll…ok never mind you won't you'll be stupid forever and you'll have to suffer with hooked on phonics." He said sending chills up his spine.

At home…

Ryou was sleeping…it was time. Bakura grabbed a bat and murdered the computer and turned it into the shape of the Gamecube.

It…was over. The torture…of the personality test was over.

But who was it rigged by…

Was it Marik…Yugi…Kaiba…Yami Yugi…Ryou…Bakura?

"No…it was me." Yami Marik said laughing evilly.

"Bitch you're gonna die for making me innocent!" Bakura yelled running after him. Bakura stopped running.

"I'll kill it." Yami Marik said with a flamethrower in his hand and a magazine of Pony Porn in the other.

Bakura got on his knees. "All hail Yami Marik Pharaoh." He said.

"Come on Bakura. Work for it. Come one get it boy. Fetch!" Yami Marik said throwing the magazine in a traffic jam.

Be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ep!

Cra-a-a-a-sh!

"Good." Yami Marik said dusting himself off.

I don't know whatever I should make it a to be continued or not…you tell me. I still have to add more stuff to some of my other stories I've done and I promised someone I'd write another chapter to Ryou's gone. I guess I can squeeze another chapter. You tell me guys. R&R please!


End file.
